A tribute to Jeremy Paxman

Recently it was announced that Evan Davis will replace Jeremy Paxman as the host of the BBC's Newsnight. I'll certainly be sad to see Paxman go, especially as no-one will ever be able to replicate his wonderful, highly-probing interview style.

As a tribute to the man, I thought I'd try and find my favourite Paxman moment. So, below is a transcript of an absolute classic bit of Newsnight from March 2007. Interviewing ex-host of children’s TV smash ‘Get your own back' - Dave Benson Phillips - Paxman asks the questions the public really want to hear. Enjoy.

Jeremy Paxman interviews Dave Benson Phillips (14/03/2007)

Paxman: Dave Benson Phillips, good evening.

DBP: Good evening.

Paxman: So, you haven’t been on our screens for six years now. What makes you think the public are still interested in you?

DBP: Well I’m still a prolific children’s entertainer, and I think the demand for TV shows like Get your own back to make a return is growing and growing, so- 

Paxman: Well I don’t want to watch it.

DBP: Yes, but you’re a grown man.

Paxman: Would rather watch paint dry. 

DBP: Like I say, you’re not really the target market. 

Paxman: Don't even like paint much.

DBP: Okay?

Paxman: Mr Phillips what makes you think you can just waltz in here and start talking, live on air?

DBP: Well I was invited, wasn't I? I mean really I want to talk about how children’s entertainment has changed, and how that could be affecting the way that we see no only our friends and family, but-

Paxman: I didn't ask you about your personal life Mr Phillips I asked you a serious question. Now will you please answer it and stop being such a pussy and just chatting shit! I can feel the viewers turning off as you speak, probably going to watch world's biggest pussies on Channel 5, starring you. 

DBP: Sorry, can you repeat the question then, because-

Paxman: Have you ever lied to your wife Mr Phillips?

DBP: What?

Paxman: Have you ever lied to your wife?

DBP: Well, I mean-

Paxman: Have you ever told she looks like a fucking portaloo?

DBP: No, I-  

Paxman: Designed by a fucking mole with no eyes.

DBP: How could-

Paxman: COME ON!

DBP: I don’t understand why you’re-

Paxman: How much is a loaf of bread?

DBP: Um...

Paxman: HOW MUCH IS A LOAF OF BREAD?

 

DBP: Well sliced it’s usually about £1.35, but-

Paxman: I meant a loaf made of DICK for crying out loud!

DBP: What does that even-?

Paxman: COME ON!

DBP: I don’t get what you’re-

Paxman: Do you have an inny or an outy?

DBP: An outy, but I don’t see how-

Paxman: Israel or Palestine? 

DBP: I’m sorry?

Paxman: WHO DO YOU SUPPORT: ISRAEL OR PALESTINE?!

DBP: Erm…well personally I support a general movement towards tolerance and understanding with the aim of eventually reaching some sort of ceasefire. I mean the education system- 

Paxman: BLAH BLAH BLAH. (Pretends to vomit). What a fucking worm’s dick of an answer. This is classic Benson Phillips: twisting the question like a sack. 

DBP: What do you mean ‘a sack’?

Paxman: Sack o’ shit.  

He hi-5s the set designer, pretends to vomit again, then exits. There is a pause as DBP sits in shock.

DBP: (Peering down his top) Shit, it's an inny.